#Satire | “It was a missed opportunity” – #MenAreTrash Denialist

“I mean, we could’ve changed the game mate, innit,” says a distressed Thembalamagumsha Khuzwayo a day after the world-renowned hashtag, which has been attributed to Twitter User @kwamsunu_000, was included in the latest edition of the Oxford English dictionary.

Continued Khuzwayo, in his best Cockney slang-meets-Pidgin English-meets-Jamaican Patois impression: “Mate, coulda scored a coupla nickels yeah?! Imagine mandem for stop tek it so personal, and instead directed dem well-faya rage towards straight women. Coz dem too are trash, especially towards queer people an’ dat, chale y’get me?!”

Khuzwayo made an example of renowned Nigerian-American author Chimamanda Ngozie-Adichie, whose stance upon being repeatedly called to order for her transphobic comments has hardline feminists and stans vexed.

“It’s unkempt mate, innit?! How can one claim to be an Intersectional Feminist, yet resort to such low-wrung altruism in the name of self-defense; in the name of being an independent thinker? Goes to show you how much profiteering her lot are making, merely off of pandering to the West,” he added.

Adichie, who was spotted cosying up to former First Lady and Trump opponent Hillary Clinton at PEN America’s world voices festival in April, shall be descending upon Mzansi shores as a headliner at the Abantu Book Festival in early December.

Khuzwayo insisted that he wasn’t intent on dwelling on the past, stressing that ‘the information is there, all man need do is Google’. Instead, he shall design, print and manufacture the first batch of t-shirts that read #Str8WmxnЯTrash ‘by this evening’. “I’ll print about a 100. It’ll go viral, truss mi daddi!”

The self-elected leader of the left-leaning on-line denialist movement — referred to as Da DMs in these streets — still disagrees that #MenAreTrash.

“Fuckin’ hell man, I get di argument an’ dat, y’seeme?! But I’m also an independent thinker, oga, and notin’ be simple. I said what I said!” exclaimed Khuzwayo, oblivious to the irony.

Lobby groups and independent commentators had all deactivated their social media accounts, presumably for self-care purposes, at the time of writing, and hence could not be reached for comment.

We’ll keep you updated on developments via a Twitter thread.

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